LBH #168
March 17, 2015
Shawnee Park
Hares: Weird Al Yank a Dick and Everything Butt Sex
Shitty Irish accents filled the air at Shawnee Park as droves of hashers waited patiently for their life sustaining keg o’ green beer to arrive. Pornholio worked for days preparing different green beer recipes, in the end it was preparation H that cooled our taste buds.
The Hares took off before the Orgy chant exploded, presumably to get some weird butt sex done at their nearby home, we may never know.
Chalk Talk introduced us to some new marks for the nights hash, a shamrock check, and marks comprised of Lucky Charms vomited up by over-hashed leprechauns.
Brown bags for the night could not have more appropriate. Irish Car bombs went down-down our throats and curdled in our bellies, while bottles of Jameson were hid from hoboes with rabies and waited for the parched lips of thirsty hashers.
It’s possible a turkey/eagle trail existed…I really wasn’t paying attention.
Beer Near was done sneaky leprechaun style, with a .8 mile YBF and a repurposed mark, causing hashers to question their very existence. “Was that there before?” “Did we really miss that?” “Who cares, beer is here” was the final call.
All this eventually became an afterthought though, much like the aftertaste of an ex-lover, and everyone hashed on. The hares were eventually snared twice by Token and Diamonds, but they don’t speak to the media, so no further information could be garnered.
We returned to Shawnee Park where a smorgasbord of lovely food awaited. Tongues O’ Plenty was overheard proclaiming, “this guacamole is really creamy!”
Circle began on time. The usual shit show was accompanied by some water works as Just Stacey was called out for peeing on someone’s lawn and graciously offered a demonstration, or was it a recreation? While another Hasher relieved himself dangerously close to circle. Four soulful gingers were given honorary St Patrick’s Day down downs and then later sacrificed to appease Ninkasi, the ancient Sumerian Goddess of beer. We also met Whiteballs, a Hasher visiting from the Calgary HHH.
Then much like the downward swirl of an almost empty keg, circle came to an end and the words of Swing Low reverberated softly and sweetly through the neighborhood.
On-On!
I Cum in Peace