Lost Boobs Hash Trash #164
February 17, 2014
Cactus Moon Sports Grill (Did you notice the size of this establishment? You could play corn hole on a full-size basketball court!)
HARES: NairBare and Sphincter Pi
Sphincter Pi asked for feedback on the trail in one sentence. Thank you, sir, for writing hash trash for me. Read on to experience the trail in the unedited words of actual hashers:
Frigid Hole: My vagina hurts.
[Would ice help?]
Dumbo: Fear and Loathing in Mesa. Marine Boot Camp run.
[One sentence, Dumbo. This is neither.]
Just Alysa: Before I climbed down that rope, I noticed my heart beating so fiercely that I nearly ran away, but to my own wonder, I made it down, almost threw up, and continued onto horribly tall and fuzzy grass.
[There was a ROPE! It took an hour to lower 100 hashers down it one at a time, but there was a ROPE!]
Ronald McDickhole: La Bia shitting on trail…
[A homeless man shitting on trail…One Hit Wonder shitting on trail… Good thing the hares used toilet paper to mark trail. It came in handy.]
Upper Cunt: In my dreams…
[Cum back soon U.C.! We miss you!]
Just Bryon: Welcome to the Jungle, were gonna bring ya to your….. cha-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-sneeze, sneeze.
[Classic!]
Just K.Z. And that’s where Valley Fever comes from.
[Check out Groupon for a discount on multiple vaccinations.]
Just Roda: Dont worry, it’s not poop
[Yes. Yes it is.]
A Star Is Porn: There will be blood and wine.
[Yes. Yes there was.]
Dicked By A Chick: Too fucking far for me to cum!!
[We miss you!!]
Moany Hawk: It was kinda like this , planes overhead, gunfire, and labias ass bombs going off. Thanks mesa . smh
Also from Moany Hawk: Like this [“From Here to Eternity” beach scene], only with crack whores, homeless people and shit everywhere
Basically, the hares led the pack down into the Salt River and back out in the shittiest way imaginable. The quicksand wanted Sex Oh Fence pretty bad (well, who doesn’t?) and grabbed her all the way up to her lady bits. Sex Oh escaped and even kept her shoes. Thanks to Welcum Wagon, she even had dry socks to put on. [Rearranging my image of Welcum Wagon to include someone who carries extra socks on her person…]
Virgin Just Jesse was quite a trooper. He chose to slide down a wall, instead of wait in line for the rope. Then he proceeded to grab a grocery cart (probably someone’s home) and wrangle it across the river bed. The river cobbles were no match and Just Jesse abandoned it where he found it. Later, he packed out the trash from BN. Honor!!
The almost-full moon rose as we participated in a rousing circle. No, wait, that was Donkey Dildo Delight who took off his clothes on trail.
Or was it some other unidentified object? Because Just Michael (UFO documentarian) will forever be known as I Cum In Peace. Congratulations!
Sphincter 3.1415926535 8979323846 2643383279 5028841971 6939937510 5820974944 5923078164 0628620899 8628034825 3421170679 was pressuring me, so this hash trash was written under duress. He even interrupted my Wednesday night drinking to interrogate me about the status. I’m so stressed out and harassed, I may have to file a grievance. At the very least, I’m doing to talk to the boss and demand a pay raise.
ON-ON
Behold! My Bush