***SPECIAL DOUBLE ORGASM EDITION 149 AND 150***
Lost Boobs Hash Trash #149
Long Wong’s, 130 wankers, 12 virgins
November 4, 2103
This hash’s hares, Patient Zero and Hole Punched, claimed to be separated at birth. When questioned about this, Hole Punched explained, “We have the same favorite things: same color, same food, same band, same least favorite song from the same favorite band.” It turns out their first hash was the exact same day and at first, they thought they hated each other. They dated a few times, with Hole Punched paying for everything, and finally, firmly, mutually, agreed that, yes, they hate each other. Hole Punched proudly proclaimed, “I beat him at Mario Kart.” Proving her point, Patient Zero got snared and Hole Punched did not.
Here’s how the hare snare played out: King of Queens spotted a “girl” curled up in a ball under a street light. KOQ and Just Bryan approached carefully (since the “girl” appeared to be crying), and asked if “she” was ok. Patient Zero (allegedly not a girl) stood up, and threw a brown bag at them to stop the snare. Keep an eye on Just Bryan; this is his third hare snare in as many hashes.
A hare snare doesn’t necessarily reflect on the integrity of the hares (see below). However, a couple other items are of grave concern. In no particular order: location, location, location.
While poking around on a relatively new invention called “Facebook” I found a little thing called “Lost Boobs Haring Guide.” Here is some important information that hares should consider:
-Make sure whatever bar we meet at can hold 100 people comfortably.
-Make sure this bar can hold us for on-after as well, so they should be open until at least midnight.
-Speak to the manager, make sure that they will have enough bar tenders, and can handle a rush of 100 people before/after the run. Warn them about our chanting “ORGY!”, and make sure they wont be offended.
-Ask about drink specials.
[Sometimes you call and talk to someone, but he’s the guy who knows where the mop is, so he doesn’t tell anyone else what’s going on. Happens.]
On the interwebs, I found a website known as phoenixhhh.org, which included a link titled “Haring”, which included some of the following notes:
-Parking
Parking should be available at the Start and End locations with room for plenty of cars.
-Restrooms
Arrange start and end locations near restrooms (very important). Very few hashers wear Depends(TM).
[This doesn’t really matter, but its funny. As an aside, I ran into the alley near On-In and Anal Beaching followed me thinking I was a drunken bimbo in need of assistance. I just prefer alleys. Thanks, AB!]
-NO GLASS CONTAINERS at the hash please!! Most park permits warn of expensive fines for having glass containers at a group function. Plus, broken glass just isn’t very fun to clean up.
[Ahem. Growler. ]
-About Getting Caught (Hare Snare)
Well, you got caught, so what. Consider yourself lucky, some other hashes have been known to take the hare’s clothes and make them finish the trail naked (seriously).
[Patient Zero: Somehow karma was on your side and Just Bryan and KOQ have NOT read this either.]
Additionally, a true fan of Lost Boobs hash trash was identified, making the total fans cum to four:
1. Moany Hawk (required).
2. Upper Cunt (what’s a BFF for?).
3. NeXXXt Best Fling (optioned the marketing rights and likes/comments on the trash to move it up in the feed).
4. The guy who has hashed twice, but religiously reads hash trash and referred to it as, and I quote, “hilarious.”
Lost Boobs Hash Trash #150
Turf
November 11, 2013
Hares: Token Ese and One Hit Wonder
101 wankers, 7 virgins
The trash for this hash is combined with #149, for obvious reasons, none of which need to be explicated here.
ON-Double your pleasure-ON
Behold My Bush