Lost Boobs Hash Trash #161
January 27, 2014 “Just Rack’s Cat Friendly Hash”
Tailgate Bar and Grill
Cat Hash Diary vs. Dog Hash Diary
Disclaimer: The animals appearing in this report are not fictitious in any way. Any resemblance to real pets, living or dead, is purely intentional and accurate.
*Exception: Moany Hawk’s cat and LBH safety mascot, Scooterman is the most awesomest cat ever.
Cat: The humans forced me to go to a loud, smelly disgusting place called a bar. They made horrible sounds and drank multi-colored liquids. I stayed very still in a corner so my dominance was clear.
Dog: Bars! Bars are awesome! I love bars!
Cat: The humans went outside and excruciating noises came out of their mouths. Apparently they were explaining the rules of a game they were about to play. I turned my back so they knew I wasn’t listening. I’m sure they didn’t notice my ears moving.
Dog: Chalk talk! Chalk talk is awesome! I love chalk talk!
Cat: The humans and canine creatures approached a wall and spent several minutes trying to get over it. I demonstrated the proper technique, which involves effortlessly leaping to the top of the wall. Then leap down the other side. I cleaned my paws since I had so much extra time.
Dog: Walls! Walls are awesome! I love walls!
Cat: I have little use for cemeteries, since I have nine lives. I see ghosts all the time; usually they are standing right behind you at home. I stalked through the cemetery while the humans and dogs made fools of themselves.
Dog: Parks! Parks are awesome! I love parks!!
Cat: This is the most idiotic game I have ever witnessed, although I’m not surprised. The humans removed some of their clothing while the others looked on and cheered. I showed them my asshole to indicate my feelings about the situation.
Dog: Boobs! Boobs are awesome! I love boobs!
Cat: Finally, the humans stopped running around aimlessly and gathered to feast. I hoped to partake, because I was famished by this point. I pretended to like one hapless human by rubbing against his leg. He placed a sticky yellow substance on a plate in front of me. It did not appear to be edible. I considered biting him to teach him a lesson, but he wasn’t worth the effort.
Dog: Nacho cheese! Nacho cheese is awesome! I love nacho cheese!
Cat: To add insult to injury, one of the humans was tortured with a bath. The other humans used powdered soap and smelly water to wash him. I wisely observed from a safe distance.
Dog: Silver Fucks! Silver Fucks is awesome I love Silver Fucks!
ON-Be kind to your pussy and/or wiener-ON
Behold My Bush