Lost Boobs #148 Hash Trash
October 28, 2013
King of Queens Boom Boom Brothel
The start of this hash was an amazing house, gigantic back yard; perfect hash location and tons of hashers in costume. Its that time of year when you really can’t tell if someone is dressed up, or just wearing their usual clothes. A couple of spooky events scared us at the beginning: first there were no BoooooooooBs patches as promised (butt maybe later). Second, some people did not pay hash cash. The HORROR! This is serious, bimbos and wanks, I know because a few have borrowed money from me to pay off Sex Oh! Fence. Even a lady on the street asked me for some money last night. She might have used it for something other than hash cash, though. (She also asked for a cigarette, but I couldn’t help her, since I’m a runner not a smoker.)
Listen up good: Pay your hash cash or end up wearing concrete shoes at the bottom of the Salt River.
About 130 hashers, including 13 or so virgins, showed up last night. This was a relief after only 3 virgins appeared at the last LBH, raising the alarm that perhaps they had all been deflowered or sacrificed. Thanks be to “G”, there will always be virgins.
*”G” is a reference to Our Father of Hashing, A.S. Gispert, 1903-1942.
Breaking news: Lion Queen lost his pumpkin! Also, Just Brandon lost his backpack and keys and Faux Fruit lost his MORDOR! virginity.
Just Kyle was named “I Need an Adult”, because, obviously, he can barely function without adult supervision. He needs help paying his bar tab and getting home in one piece. He did, however, take off ALL THE THINGS in preparation for his naming; hopefully he is adult in the sense that he is not jail bait (oh please, “G”, please).
Was it a Full Moon last night? Cuz circle went on for fucking ever. There appeared to be a number of unrighted wrongs and unaired grievances from Las Vegas RDR. The rest of us wandered around quietly, mournfully, singing, “I got the RDR, red dress sadness”. And then wickedly whispering, “S…T…D…s” because only “G” knows the potpourri of bugs running around in THAT hash soup cauldron.
The shit award passed smoothly from Just Kyle/I Need An Adult to Anal Beaching. Its not clear if this was for Donkey not knowing her hash name (Its ANAL BEACHING! For the love of “G”!) or her not knowing someone else’s hash name. Or maybe because it looks so cute when she wears the shit award around her waist. Just Brendan/Suze Whoreman was also nominated for the shit award for just showing up once a year.
Apparently, Pinterest Plague struck Whore’s Whisperer again and she created chocolate chip cookies, mummy hot dogs and a “pumpkin” made out of baby carrots. If you were unlucky enough to be the last third of the pack, you probably only got a baby carrot. Or a special PB&J that KOQ brought out of the freezer later.
In “G”’s name we pay (our hash cash),
Behold My Bush